Sometimes I am.....

An Embarrassing mom:

We have very little time on Tuesdays to get from school to the YMCA for swim lessons. This situation is not helped any by Lila being the classic Pokey Little Puppy. In the changing stall at the Y, I try not to nag at her to hurry along, I just helpfully suggest what she needs to do next. "Ok babe," I tell her "Take off your pants."

"I know, I know.." She says and gives me a little look. The pants come off and she hands them to me.

"Ok, now the shirt kiddo."

"I know." She sounds a little irritated and I can't figure out why. I'm being nice, I'm not nagging at all.

"Ok, now hand me the underwear baby." I say nice and sweet.

"Momma! Stop! People can hear you. You don't have to say -that- out loud!"

"What? Oh, sorry Li. I was just trying to move it along some."

"It's ok. Just sit quietly. I know what to do." She tells me.

"Ok."

Sometimes I am....

A bad influence:


Today we were standing in line at the Post Office and Violet spotted these little plastic mail boxes that you can buy to put your stamps in. She loves the darn things and begs for one every time we go to the post office.

Her-"Ooooh, Momma, can we buy this?" She yanks it off the shelf.

Me- "Not today, baby." I tell her and put it back.

Her- "Dammit!"

Three customers turn full around to stare at me, which I can't understand because I didn't use the profanity. The teller didn't even look up. She's seen us in there before.

Sometimes I am.....

Very Proud:

Jasmine was waiting for me to pick her up from school today. She was sitting in the breeze way at the front of the school with a couple of boys. One of the boys, an eighth grader, starting picking on a sixth grader who was mentally challenged. The bully went up to the younger kid, ripped a ski tag off of his coat and tore it up. He kept picking on the boy who, Jasmine said, was trying hard not to cry.

"Hey!" my daughter yelled "Stop being a friggin' bastard! Leave him alone!"

"Yeah, make me!" The bully yelled back.

Jasmine stood up from the stairs she was sitting on. My five foot six inch daughter towered over the little prick.

He promptly sat down and shut up.

Biology or not, that's my girl.

The End of Things As I Knew Them

Life, my friends, is all about change. That fact seems to ring especially true when you have small children at home. They take leaps and bounds in their lives every day, so change can be seen more frequently.

Recently, due to my small child, my life has changed exponetially. The change happened fast and has left me saddened and bewildered. My life will never quite be the same and some how I will have to find the courage and strength to go on.

You see, baby girl will no longer take a nap.

I've tried and still she can't be swayed. She began by coming out of her room and simply stating that she wasn't the least bit tired. I would quickly usher her back in and tell her she really was tired. So tired, in fact, that she wasn't thinking straight and should really get some sleep. This worked once. Maybe twice. Darling Violet is the clever sort and cannot easily be detered. She has found a new tact to nap avoidance that has worked quite well. She poops herself out of it.

Every day I put her down for the nap, she kisses me, and lays down nicely. 15 minutes later, she's at the top of the stairs proclaiming a full diaper that needs immediate changing. "It's gross Momma. And stinky. I need a new one please!" She yells so sweetly.

It's a pretty good trick. I haven't been able to find a way around this one. Any parent can tell you that this is one area that the kiddos are pretty much in control of. They say when, they say where, and they say how much.

I'd like to be able to say that I used nap time to be productive. That nap time is when I cleaned all the dust balls from behind the fridge and organized everyone's sock drawers. I'd like to tell you that. And maybe if fewer people who actually knew me read this blog, I'd be able to pull that story off. The real truth is that nap time was actually my free period. Choice time, as they say in kindergarten. I ate lunch in peace, I watched shows I recorded the night before, I read magazines. Lots and lots of magazines. Nap time was my time. Not that a mom's time is ever really her own, but this was as close as I got to it. And I shall miss it desperately.

I knew deep down that it wasn't going to last forever. Yet, I mourn it just the same. Bow your heads, my friends, and join me in a moment of silence. It just may be my last.